I went to the same school from year 7 to 12, where I knew the names of every person in my grade, who they hung out with and even where they would be during recess and lunch. I often wondered why I knew the names of everyone, but not everybody knew who I was. I would think, “we are in the same year level, we’ve been in the same class at some point, but you don’t know who I am?”.
In December 2020, I started to read Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. It took me two months to read, slow and steady, but as I read, I kept thinking, okay, I’m not a weirdo; I have a sound level of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”
It got me thinking if Emotional Intelligence is so important, why does the school curriculum revolve around IQ? Why is there such a big focus on the grades/ATAR you get, the university you got accepted into, the degree you decide to do or the job you have? “Emotional Intelligence includes self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal and motivation, empathy and social skills. These qualities mark people who excel: whose relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace.” (Goleman)
I’d like to see schools take a different approach; I remember the emphasis and pressure on getting good grades, getting a high ATAR and knowing “what you want to do when you finish school”. I’d like to see more of, what kind of person do you want to be? What do you like/enjoy doing? It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do, you can try different things and experiences and may find your passion and purpose along the way.
What’s your story? How did you choose your current career? Are you doing what you thought you wanted to do? What does success mean to you?
IQ will get you hired, EQ will get you promoted!
I fell into my work after being fired from an apprenticeship 15 years ago. I had nothing but a year 12 certificate. I've done well out of it. I put that down to EQ. I enjoy it, especially in recent years as I've moved up the ladder a little and learned more and more about the operations of the business. I like learning new stuff and hate being stagnant. It doesn't fulfill me though.
I used to think success was having heaps of stuff. Now I think success is doing something with meaning and purpose. Something that has a positive impact on people's lives. The challenge is to monetise it to a point where you can dedicate yourself to it full-time. Whilst I have a desire to provide for my family and be at least financially comfortable, I no longer harbor ambitions to be incredibly rich. Once I have enough I want to try to do more for others.
It’s easier to rank people by iq and academic scores than EQ