Last week I touched on my attempt at returning to tertiary study with a post-grad Certificate in Strength and Conditioning. A friend had sent me the course, which had commonwealth-supported places. My first instinct was no, I’m not smart enough for uni, and I don’t know if they will accept my massage degree from the Southern Institute of Technology (Invercargill). I had mentioned it to a massage colleague and sent him the details, and he decided that he would do it, so I thought, okay, if you’re going to do it, I’ll apply and see if I get in. I surprisingly got accepted.
It wasn't easy at first to keep up with the course content and fortnightly presentations that were work about 2% each, but then Canberra had the first case of covid, and I closed my business for what ended up being five weeks. I had nothing but time to focus on studying, and while I worked hard, I was not getting the results I thought my effort and research deserved for the assessment tasks. I ended up feeling stupid and getting increasingly frustrated. The feedback I received was unhelpful. The lecturer made me feel inferior from one of the first tasks, a needs analysis with my chosen sport of rugby, where I had stated with supporting literature that tackling is the most important skill in rugby. The lecturer questioned this and linked ONE paper as to why it wasn’t. It felt like I’m the teacher, you’re the student and “I’m right, and you’re wrong”.
Long story short, I failed the final assignment for one of the units and was offered the chance to resubmit; my deadline was in January, just after Christmas break. I worked between Christmas and New Year and had family visiting, so it was hard to tear myself away. I clarified the feedback with the lecturer to ensure I understood and could improve my resubmission. I worked long and hard, submitted and still failed. Not only did I fail, but he “had no choice but to report” me for plagiarism. I was shocked and frustrated; the feedback from my resubmission contradicted the feedback I had received on the first attempt. But also, plagiarism? I referenced everything and had been referencing the same all semester and thought surely, if I'd been doing it wrong, I would have been told by now.
I did not consider myself to be an expert in the field of strength and conditioning, but I also didn’t think I had no knowledge; I was there to learn but was left feeling like I’d learnt nothing, and the experience confirmed my story of “I’m not smart enough for uni”.
I felt defeated and decided that this course wasn’t worth fighting for, and I just needed to let it go. I was found guilty of low-level academic misconduct, which thankfully does not go on your academic record. (I did try appealing, and it got denied, I also provided feedback about the lecturer and never got a response) I have not been flagged for plagiarism in my current units at UTAS and UON, having made no changes to my referencing.
After reading Mindset, I realised that my lecturer had a fixed mindset and that his teaching did not suit my learning. (I wasn’t the only one either, as 50% (maybe even more) of the enrolled students didn’t finish the semester.) I decided if I wanted to pursue strength and conditioning, I would do so elsewhere so as not to be taught by a lecturer who failed to nurture me and help me grow and learn.
So, what did I learn? I learnt that while I am interested in strength and conditioning, the direction I’d like to progress in my career is connecting, talking, educating and helping people through their rehabilitation journey; by listening and increasing their understanding of their injury/pain. When I discovered a Master of Rehabilitation Counselling, I thought, “I do that daily in my clinic”, and I often find myself in a flow state doing it and am constantly running late as a result.
Growth and failure come hand in hand; without failure, there is no growth. You either win, or you learn.
That lecturer is an idiot. I remember I got accused of plagiarism once at UC because I actually put a lot effort into the assignment, and to be fair, it was much better than all my other submissions. It was an article about how Diet Coke strips calcium from our bones and I think anyone writing about what their passionate about can led to extraordinary results. Results that people with a fixed mindset think must have come from cheating.
I just read this AFTER replying to your comment on my blog. Great minds! Great attitude. While it’s always possible to fail, with that attitude you’ll never be a failure.