Even after 15 months I still consider myself a very new parent. I'm trying my hardest to be the absolute best parent I can be and whenever Sonny is sick I try desperately to figure out what it is that's upsetting him, but my motivation is to take his discomfort away. It makes it harder again when he can't explain how he is feeling or where it hurts.
My mum can be a little over the top too, but I'm starting to understand that wanting her to change in any way is a waste of my energy. She is well and truly set in her ways. Perhaps some people might think this isn't the right thing to do, but in a situation like yours I probably would have just lied and told her I had done the test and it was positive, especially given the condition you were in, I'd have just done whatever took the least effort to appease her and get her off my case, haha.
I think as humans we naturally want to take away our loved ones discomfort. In fact it's really hard watching our loved ones suffer. I know that parents naturally go into rescue mode too, when the situation doesn't need to be fixed and you just need someone to listen. Like you can't change how shitty I feel but please listen to me while I tell you how shitty I feel.
I think sometimes this behaviour triggers the not good enough wound in me too. Like yesterday, I went to R4R with the intention of walking, after a good with with Matty, Cal was jogging so Matt started jogging and then I started jogging and when Cal stopped to a walk I kept jogging and ended up jogging for 3.5 out of 4.1km, it was slow but I pushed myself harder than I thought I was capable. I snap chatted a post run pic stating that I ran instead of walked and my mum's reply was simply "swimming would be better for you and your asthma". I told her I went mostly to socialise but any exercise is good exercise for asthma and got an oh. (that was it).
Another conversation was when my sister told my mum I wanted to have my eyebrows microbladed and my mum was dead against it when I asked her why she said "because I made you". Is this a common parental line of thinking in this generation? That because you gave your child life you have a say over what they can and cannot do no matter how old they get? That even if your child says no, you can over rule any decision they make and go against their wishes? That you can force them to do something they didn't want to do?
I think in regards to your mum, it probably says more about how she feels about herself than how she feels about you.
My mum has always spoken about herself as though she’s overweight. She’s not. Whenever I gain weight, she brings it up. When I lose weight, like I have recently, she asks me if I’m okay and if I’m eating (well) enough. Like I couldn’t possibly have worked hard and got fit, I must be starving myself or sick.
I used to let it get me but gradually I realised everything she said about me was her own insecurities manifesting that way and I actually started to feel sorry for her.
It seems to be common in that generation of people/parents. Stuck in their ways and less open to learning, growing and changing?
Sometimes I'll share something I read in a book and my mum will either say nothing or say, you read it in one book, hinting that because it's in a book doesn't mean it's true. Or I'll say I watched this awesome lecture and share it in the family group chat and more often than not I'll get no response or one time mum simply said, yeah I watched it and not share anything about what she learned or liked or disliked about it.
I shouldn't say never. Byron managed to get a ticket for me in my 6th season, but I couldn't attend because I already had plans in Jindabyne to celebrate my 30th Birthday haha. I was devastated to finally be recognised enough to get a ticket and have to decline.
The only time I attended was because my sister asked if we could go, so we bought one of the general public tickets to attend. It was really fun. But in short, massage therapists historically haven't been invited to any of the season launch or end of year presentation.
Tricky one.
Even after 15 months I still consider myself a very new parent. I'm trying my hardest to be the absolute best parent I can be and whenever Sonny is sick I try desperately to figure out what it is that's upsetting him, but my motivation is to take his discomfort away. It makes it harder again when he can't explain how he is feeling or where it hurts.
My mum can be a little over the top too, but I'm starting to understand that wanting her to change in any way is a waste of my energy. She is well and truly set in her ways. Perhaps some people might think this isn't the right thing to do, but in a situation like yours I probably would have just lied and told her I had done the test and it was positive, especially given the condition you were in, I'd have just done whatever took the least effort to appease her and get her off my case, haha.
Glad you're better. COVID bloody sucks.
I think as humans we naturally want to take away our loved ones discomfort. In fact it's really hard watching our loved ones suffer. I know that parents naturally go into rescue mode too, when the situation doesn't need to be fixed and you just need someone to listen. Like you can't change how shitty I feel but please listen to me while I tell you how shitty I feel.
I think sometimes this behaviour triggers the not good enough wound in me too. Like yesterday, I went to R4R with the intention of walking, after a good with with Matty, Cal was jogging so Matt started jogging and then I started jogging and when Cal stopped to a walk I kept jogging and ended up jogging for 3.5 out of 4.1km, it was slow but I pushed myself harder than I thought I was capable. I snap chatted a post run pic stating that I ran instead of walked and my mum's reply was simply "swimming would be better for you and your asthma". I told her I went mostly to socialise but any exercise is good exercise for asthma and got an oh. (that was it).
Another conversation was when my sister told my mum I wanted to have my eyebrows microbladed and my mum was dead against it when I asked her why she said "because I made you". Is this a common parental line of thinking in this generation? That because you gave your child life you have a say over what they can and cannot do no matter how old they get? That even if your child says no, you can over rule any decision they make and go against their wishes? That you can force them to do something they didn't want to do?
Yep I think you’re spot on.
I think in regards to your mum, it probably says more about how she feels about herself than how she feels about you.
My mum has always spoken about herself as though she’s overweight. She’s not. Whenever I gain weight, she brings it up. When I lose weight, like I have recently, she asks me if I’m okay and if I’m eating (well) enough. Like I couldn’t possibly have worked hard and got fit, I must be starving myself or sick.
I used to let it get me but gradually I realised everything she said about me was her own insecurities manifesting that way and I actually started to feel sorry for her.
My mum will never change either
It seems to be common in that generation of people/parents. Stuck in their ways and less open to learning, growing and changing?
Sometimes I'll share something I read in a book and my mum will either say nothing or say, you read it in one book, hinting that because it's in a book doesn't mean it's true. Or I'll say I watched this awesome lecture and share it in the family group chat and more often than not I'll get no response or one time mum simply said, yeah I watched it and not share anything about what she learned or liked or disliked about it.
Deep down she wants the best for you, but she has to realise you're a more than capable adult.
Part of me feels like your mum is projecting her own feelings onto you.
Were you never invited to the Brumbies awards night?
I shouldn't say never. Byron managed to get a ticket for me in my 6th season, but I couldn't attend because I already had plans in Jindabyne to celebrate my 30th Birthday haha. I was devastated to finally be recognised enough to get a ticket and have to decline.
The only time I attended was because my sister asked if we could go, so we bought one of the general public tickets to attend. It was really fun. But in short, massage therapists historically haven't been invited to any of the season launch or end of year presentation.